Do You Realize?????

"Do you realize that everyone you know, someday, will die?" - The Flaming Lips

As I get older people who have played a part in my life, whether significant or minor, are passing away. In the last two weeks Levon Helm, Junior Seau, and Adam Yauch, have all left us and each passing lead me to have a different reaction.

When Levon Helm passed away I was genuinely sad. I found out, strangely enough, from NHL commissioner Gary Bettman as he closed his radio show. Mr. Bettman signed off with "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" and sent his condolences to Levon Helm's family and friends. I immediately opened iTunes, listened to "The Weight", and posted a couple thoughts on Facebook. Strangely, I can not really tell you why I was sad. Maybe it was the tone of his voice that made him seem like a regular guy, or the fact that my father and I have had The Band in the background during some memorable father son moments.

When I heard on the radio that Junior Seau had committed suicide, I gasped. I was shocked. For someone so young, so beloved, and so influential to take his own life was just astonishing. My lasting memory of Junior Seau is from the 1995 AFC Championship Game. It seemed as if he made every tackle against my beloved Steelers. I remember yelling "Why can't we block that guy?" at that TV several times. It was maddening to watch. Seventeen years later, that same maddening middle linebacker couldn't tackle his demons. His induction into the Hall of Fame, when it happens, will undoubtedly bring memories of the voice I heard on the radio telling me junior Seau had died.

Finally, when Adam Yauch passed away, I felt regret. My internet browser at work automatically opens to Yahoo. I didn't dream that I would open that browser to read breaking news that MCA had lost his battle with cancer. Mind you, a battle I didn't even realize he was waging. The regret I felt was over missed opportunity. The Beastie Boys marked the first time I really disobeyed my parents where I knew, if caught, serious consequences were to follow. I bought Licensed To Ill against their direct orders and on several occasions I popped that cassette into my boom box, lowered my ear to the speaker, and listened covertly without their knowledge. As I aged and opportunities to see The Beastie Boys Live arose, I passed. Multiple times I passed. I told myself that there would be other chances. This past Friday, I lost my last chance.

So what does this all mean? To me it means music can act as a soundtrack for great memories, that even the strongest physically can suffer mentally, and that you take advantage of the opportunities in front of you. Their just may not be another chance.

"I used to do a little, but a little wouldn't do it so the little got more and more." - Guns N' Roses

No friends, I haven't turned to heroin. This quote actually refers to landscaping. I have a problem. I used to be happy with one or two well manicured beds that contained a few plants and some mulch. Now, I think about edging and re-edging flower beds. I obsess over the right amount of mulch and it drives me a little batty when that mulch becomes cluttered. Weeds are the work of the devil and dying plants make me feel like an unfit parent. What has brought me to this lowly state. The answer, quite simply, is my father. My father has a backyard oasis. No, it doesn't have a fancy cement pond, luxurious outdoor kitchen, or a topiary garden. It just has a few acres of well cared for flower beds and a vegetable garden with rows straighter than Mitt Romney. My hope is that one day my yard will look half as nice as his. Unfortunately that day is not today. Tomorrow I have a date with a shovel and some dirt.